It's A Ghost!!

Yep....believe it, I'm back.

Why...?? Because, I need to continue this...finish something I've started or at least continue it with no finishing point in sight. There will be a change though. I'm kind of switching gears a bit from my former path to a different one. Beauty. Ahhh, I know what you're thinking. "Everyone has a beauty blog." And to that I simply say, "so". (Not to be rude or anything, just sayin') I've loved "pretty things" since I was a wee-bit lady. I have a pretty decent make-up collection and a healthy addiction to back it, so there won't be a shortage of things to talk about. So, anyway, with that being said....let's get Luxe!! :)

Strange Reality

Hmm...sometimes we hold onto things that just don't mean us any good.

WHY IS THAT???

Of course, I don't have any answers for that, just theories that I've formulated from my own personal issues. Every day brings a lesson. It's natural for us as humans to feel pain, but behind the tears and grief and whatever else, what have we learned from the experience. That's truly what matters. The lesson learned. I spent a lot of time over this past year trying to figure "me" out. The strange reality of it all is that I can't. Not because I just fail to reach a decision, but because human emotions are too fickle and too complex to narrow down to one concise element. IDK, maybe I'm saying too much without saying anything at all, but I know I've been hurt and I'm still hurting...I just want to let go.

OH MY GAWD!!!!

Ok ya'll I know...I know...for those few subscribers that I had to begin with, I totally understand if you jumped off the bandwagon because I was M.I.A. for so long. I'll be sad, but I don't blame ya.

Trust me, it's okay. I disappeared from Twitter for a while too. <---but most of all of my followers held me down. So "woot woot" to ya'll.

Anywhoz, there's more to blog about than what I think should be written in ONE post so over the next few days I'll be catching you guys up on the foolishness, great moments, sad times and whatever other randomness went on in my life over the past few months.

First things first...I'm Preggers McGreggers. Yup, you read right. 'Ms. I'm-neva-havin'-kids' is a little over 5 months pregnant, and I'm actually SUPER excited about it. Unfortunately, due to changes with Dr.'s and whatnot, I don't know what's kicking around down there, but trust me; when I know, you too shall know. :) So, I'll try posting ultrasound pics and whatnot soon.

Secondly...for all the women who are single mothers and have to deal with "baby daddy drama" I have a whole new glorious appreciation for you. Geez Louise ya'll are strong.

Let's see...what else? Hmm...well...as soon as I can I'm trying to upload videos to my YouTube channel http://www.youtube.com/dyhart86 I'll basically be talking about beauty (makeup, skin care, hair, accessories, etc.) It's not going to get too much into fashion, because although I love to shop and buy clothes, it can get quite tedious trying to keep up with all of that via YouTube. :)

So, anyway my Lovlies. I'm so glad to be back with you and I hope that you're glad to be reading my rants and raves yet again, because I'm pulling out my soapbox to spread the gospel about life's foolishness lol So, grab your church fans cuz it's gonna get HOT!

Peace & Love...and a little eyeshadow too :)

Realizing Dreams

Sooo...today I had to do a "mock interview" for my Career and Employment Strategies class. I usually don't get nervous about interviews because well...when you're nervous, you mess things up. So, knowing that, I just try to stay calm and stay focused on what I need to do.

Today...was a tad bit different. It's weird because, this interview wasn't even for a real position. It was just one of, I don't know how many, practice interviews that business students have to do. Yet, I was nervous. The good thing though, is that I completely nailed it. Minus the fact that he interviewer said I should have come in, in a business suit and had a portfolio (-_-) you can't win em all i guess. But aside from that, he said I did wonderfully well, and if it were for an actual position, I would be hired! NICE!

Anywho. I said all that to say this...work hard, do the little things now, and you'll realize your dreams before you know it!

Yup!

Gone With the Wind

He comes....He cums....and He's gone....



Your feelings will fuck you. You lay your guard down and before you know it, your emotional innocence has been violated. You feel ashamed, like you knew better, like you should've noticed the signs. Hindsight is 20/20...and you can't go back in time to change the date you two met, so you just deal with the embarrassment of your misjudgements.

I don't blame him. Mostly, because I knew (some) of the story beforehand. I do blame myself for letting go and believing everything I'm told. No matter what anyone says, you can't ignore what's written...especially if it's a tattoo.

I don't like complicated situations. I tend to run away from them, but for some reason...I feel like I can't just leave it alone like my mind is telling me. Not because I'm "so deep in love", because that's not it. But I really felt like I had a friend and in a sense, a lover in him. Truthfully, I don't want to miss that. But dammit, if I didn't let myself get fkd over. SMH!

Welcome Back

Well...he was gone for awhile.

I cried, I wondered, I got mad, I was frustrated, I was confused, I was hurt and I got over it. Then, like clear pure clockwork...he bounces back in.

I'll be the first to say, I don't rekindle old flames. Once you're out my life, you're gone. Even if we can still maintain a friendship, I usually close off the emotional side and it becomes platonic afterward. In this case, however, this man means something to me. Something that even I can't explain, because I don't want to feel this way about anyone. I don't want to feel like someone has a hold of me...but in his own little way he does. I've missed so much about him, and I've tried to forget all of those things. Truth is, you can't forget what makes you smile and what brings you happiness. It wasn't all good, but I was happy.

I'm not worried about making false moves...I'm not gonna apologize for how I feel anymore. He owns a part of my heart and that is what it is. I've learned to accept it...

So...I've been thinking..

We spend our whole lives in search of...something.



We desire so much. We want love, happiness, friendships, success, satisfaction, the list is never-ending. In looking for all of this, and searching for everything, we lose sight of what's really important.

I feel like I've been working toward some sort of goal...and I have yet to find it. Some days I just wish things were simpler. That life was easier. Maybe that's what I'm searching for...